1. Crossing Belarussian border in any direction is equivalent to time travel of 30-40 years.
2. If you were born in the sixties - eighties, your school education included basics of guerrilla warfare. If you are younger than that, the subject was replaced with futility of resistance. You are wiser than the majority of world's population, either way.
3. American liberals may threaten to move to Canada. Belarussian liberals are already in Canada.
4. Your city of birth may hold the world's record for the number of disclaimers. Our library is not a casino. Our stadium is not a flea market. Our president's son is not a military school mascot. The president's wife is not his mother.
5. Minsk - Paris train! When you open your eyes in Warsaw, you believe you already arrived. So do the passengers travelling in the opposite direction.
6. The climate you are used to makes most of the traditionally miserable places in the world feel either like home, or like a resort.
7. Most of the major historical events of Eastern Europe happened in Belarus, or so you claim. Ottoman-Swedish war? Check. Assimilation and re-settling of the Russian Jews? Check. Founding assembly of the Communist Party? Check. Chernobyl? Partial check, some fallout-carrying winds, check.
8. You are both highly superior to Russians and possess the best of their culture.
9. If you can speak Belarussian, you are an educated person who knows at least one foreign language (Russian). If you can only speak Russian, you are still superior to Russians and possess the best of their culture. If you don't speak either, you share a common language with the president.
10. If you have professional experience in the field of being the president of Belarus, you will be offered the same job again!